TwoCents | “Men-Watching” - by Belinda Chiazor

One of my favorite things to do has always been “people watching.”  I love to watch how humans interact with other humans, and I observe them, albeit stealthily or at-least unobtrusively. Not in the rude, glaring manner some Lagosians like to stare at  somebody like you’re owing them money, and unlike a creep either. More recently however, I “men watch.” I’m fascinated by the conviviality and homogeneity of male interactions. At a night lounge a few days ago, I observed two older men laughing and enjoying themselves, and my “men watching” was at peak enthrallment.They had only about two mild alcoholic drinks placed on their table, so their laughter wasn’t vinous. One of the duo had a type of laugh I could liken to a goat yodel. A cackle so unique, sounding almost sing-song and like a goat bleating at the same time. Having two brothers myself, I understand life can be brutal for men, therefore they find their happiness wherever they can. Those gents probably had a truckload of problems waiting for them back home, but in that moment in time, they were content in each-other’s company, guffawing like say tomorrow no dey. I remember pointing out to the folks I was with, that if women laughed like that, we would be labeled badly behaved. Even if nobody outrightly chastised us, we would receive judging looks accompanied by a few rolled eyes, as well as raised eyebrows for sure. I wasn’t hating on the fellows by pointing this out, for if anything I was captivated by their interaction and the freedom they had to be themselves — particularly the one chortling like an overstimulated Tasmanian devil high on Monkey tail. I was simply stating facts. We are expected as women to be more lady-like. More prim and proper and better put together. As previously stated, I wasn’t hating, make I talk am twice, it’s just how the disparity in male and female interplay was so glaring from that real life example right in front of me — the men ha-ha-ing the night away. I cannot recall even in my most turnt up moments with girlies, ever having that many laughs and certainly not in that degree of loudness, although the way I cackle would be considered unladylike. But on the average, due to societal dictates, women just would not laugh that high pitched. There are of-course, a few weyrey exceptions.Whatever the case; I still wonder about boffum. I wonder what lives they went back to and what their stories are. And if I know men, those two could be strangers who met themselves for the first time that night. It’s one thing I genuinely envy about the male gender — their natural ability to be friendly with other fellas, even when they don’t know them. They’re usually less judgmental with each-other, and are more forgiving. They also know how to have a good time regardless of where they are, sotey under mango tree, men will still catch their fun. You can literally see a bunch of them with posh cars parked outside a gutter-side restaurant or bar and they’ll be having a ball. I doubt I want to be a man in my next life, but I won’t lie, I wouldn’t mind living life like one even if for a day, out of curiosity. I honestly wish my gender was more accommodating. I want more female gatherings where we don’t need to personally know the other, to get along. Where nobody cares what wig or fit you’re in, if you’re prettier or your edges better laid, just laughter from the belly and a good girly time. I literally know women who can’t have fun if there are no men present, and some can’t take themselves out because they’re so used to men footing their bills.Not every woman is like this, but i sadly run more into women who are.In summary, men really do amuse and fascinate me sha. They’re strange, yet simple beings, and their interactions can be so wholesome and fun to watch. I wonder what they think about how we women engage with ourselves. I’ll ask my brothers. Hehehe.

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